


Clean Slate: Five Times Nandor Mindwiped Guillermo, and One Time He Wished He Didn’t

by uv_duv



Category: What We Do in the Shadows (TV)
Genre: 5+1 Things, Angst, Dubious Consent, Edging, F/M, Fluff, M/M, Masturbation, Memory Alteration, Non-Consensual Voyeurism, Pre-Canon
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-06
Updated: 2020-08-06
Packaged: 2021-03-05 19:33:30
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,947
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25750642
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/uv_duv/pseuds/uv_duv
Summary: Pretty much what the title says. Nandor has been cheating in the long game between him and Guillermo. Guillermo, of course, has no idea.
Relationships: Guillermo de la Cruz/Nandor the Relentless, Laszlo Cravensworth/Nadja
Comments: 23
Kudos: 126





	Clean Slate: Five Times Nandor Mindwiped Guillermo, and One Time He Wished He Didn’t

1.

The pale light of a half moon was reflected in the pond. _Such a lovely evening._ Nandor was feeding the fish in the koi pond when Guillermo started screaming out of nowhere, ruining the peaceful night.

"What is it now?" Nandor said, annoyed. All he had asked was for Guillermo to fetch more fish food. _Was that so hard?_

"Fuck fuck fuck! There's hornets everywhere!"

Sure enough, when Nandor looked up from the pond Guillermo was flapping his arms wildly, running and screaming around the backyard. _That's probably not what you are supposed to do. And even if it is, do something else._

"Maybe if you calm down they'll go back to sleep!"

"Oh God, they're in my sweater!" Nandor scowled at the use of the G-word but let it go. Guillermo was shrieking in pain and probably wouldn't hear his reprimand anyway. 

The screaming got louder as Guillermo ran towards him.

"Well don't bring the hornets here! What are you--?!" 

Guillermo took off his glasses, sweater, and his shirt and jumped into the koi pond, keeping his head under the water. That was definitely going to disturb the fish. The hornets swarmed above the water. _Guillermo would have to breathe at some point,_ Nandor remembered. He set the hornets on fire with a flick of his wrist. _Fuck hornets. Not a fan._

Guillermo waited for the embers to blow away before resurfacing. He had a huge smile on his face and had pond plants stuck to his hair. _Oh no. This was never good._ He crawled back out of the pond near Nandor. He took deep heaving breaths and said, “That was so cool! You can conjure fire!” and thanked him for burning the hornets, for saving him, giving Nandor a big wet hug. Nandor plucked a lilypad from his hair and tossed it away in disgust. He didn't immediately recoil from Guillermo the way he was supposed to, however. 

"It's... That's... You don't need to..." Nandor mumbled, but found himself smelling him. Savoring. Not resisting like he should. The adrenaline meant that Guillermo was extra warm, his heart rate still in panic mode, the sweet blood pumping just under his skin… It was impossible not to hesitate. He had never seen Guillermo shirtless before either. It made him feel strange. Like he shouldn't be looking. _But why not?_ Guillermo was still holding him and it was definitely for too long, but... 

_Maybe a nibble?_

Nandor's arms were around Guillermo in a vice-like grip. _Hm, what the hell is wrong with..? Oh right, his back is covered in hornet stings,_ he remembered. He stared at Guillermo, weighing the thought. _Just a sip?_ He smelled so fucking good and he was too stupid to run. ... _What did he think was happening? No matter_ , Nandor dismissed the thought. 

Before Nandor could bite him, Guillermo looked up at Nandor without his glasses, so no doubt nearly blind, but his expression seemed expectant. Guillermo closed his eyes and wet his mouth and Nandor realized what he thought was happening. 

"I was not here when you jumped in the pond. You will put your clothes on and buy the hornet antidote. You will ask somebody else to help you put it on." 

Nandor turned into vapor and zipped away into the house.

2.

Nadja and Laszlo were having a loud argument about a witch or something that seemed like it would take a while. Left to their own devices, Guillermo had spent the evening showing Nandor how Netflix worked. It seemed straightforward enough, it was getting to the ethernet and logging in on the electric folding rectangle that was difficult. But once there, Nandor clicked on a movie with a cute dog. _That seemed nice._

All set up, Guillermo sat next to him. It was a little close, but Nandor remembered how weak his human eyes were and allowed it, so that he could see the movie. Guillermo wasn’t his preferred movie-watching companion, but Nandor never watched movies or television alone and he wasn’t going to start now. It started to play and Guillermo said, "Oh, Owen Wilson is in this." Nandor asked, "Was he that guy in that movie with that, you know, augh... what is her name…" he waved his hands around as he thought out loud, "Ugh, this is really going to bother me." He slumped on the couch with a frown. Guillermo replied, "It'll come back to--" "Clara Bow!" Nandor yelled, smiling happily that it did come back. Guillermo looked skeptical but that was okay, it was before his short time. _What would he know?_

As the movie played, Nandor asked Guillermo constant questions and provided insightful commentary about what he was seeing. "Who is that man?", "Why is the dog so naughty?", "I do not like his outfit", "Maybe the newspapers would still be around if they were more reasonable shapes, like smaller booklets or even scrolls. And less dry and inky." About halfway through the movie, Guillermo left to take care of some chore or another. He seemed to have developed some kind of eye twitch. _No matter, he would be back later._

Another hour of family-friendly hijinx passed, punctuated with unthinkable tragedy. _What the fuck?_ Nandor was looking at the credits in abject horror, tears streaming down his face. _What the fuck??? Who made this? Who made this movie to torture their audience this way? Why is this just available online, no warnings, for any innocent person to happen across?_

Guillermo came back in and visibly recoiled when he saw the state Nandor was in. Nandor beckoned him over and yelled at him through his sobs, "Why didn't you tell me the dog dies at the end?! That was a depraved film and I wish I hadn't seen it." Nandor couldn’t think of the last time he cried, let alone in front of a fucking familiar. 

"I don't-- that's really how it ended? I'm sorry it was upsetting, Master." Guillermo sat down next to him again and started dabbing at his tears gently with a handkerchief. Nandor turned his face away and frowned. _The fucking nerve!_

He waved his hand in Guillermo’s face behind him. 

"You did not catch me crying at a doggy movie. You will leave this room and do something else."

"...I think I forgot to check the mail." 

Nandor quickly snatched the wet handkerchief before Guillermo left. 

3.

Nandor was helping Guillermo move an especially large victim when he spotted a hole in the roof.

"Guillermo, patch that please! That is a huge sunlight risk." 

Guillermo said, "Absolutely, Master," and ran off to find the house tool kit and spare shingles. Nandor had a very large woman's overalls fisted in his hand and continued to pull her towards Guillermo's lye station set up. _Such an innovative familiar._ It made him proud. Her body made a loud thud when he dropped her. He turned around and was surprised that Guillermo was already on the roof. 

"How did you get up there so fast?" Nandor yelled up to him.

Guillermo looked down at Nandor, "There's an even bigger hole in the attic, Master. The repair guy is coming next week." 

_So on top of things with the house. Very good._ Guillermo had learned a lot as a familiar, was getting better and better every year. He looked at Guillermo on his hands and knees on the roof, illuminated by moonlight and a headlamp, and felt something strange in his dead chest. Like warmth, almost? _Odd. Annoying._

There was something about the way Guillermo held nails in his mouth. His arms swinging the hammer confidently. The way he popped back up to his feet to patch the next hole and _oh shit_.

Guillermo slipped and was sliding down the roof fast. Nandor didn't even think. Guillermo fell on top of him with a muffled whump, knocking both of them to the ground below the porch. They were both frozen for an instant. Guillermo looked at Nandor from under his glasses with amazement in his pure brown eyes, a blush, and the curls of his hair... His little hands on his chest... The unfortunate placement of his thigh... _oh no_. 

"Would you, maybe like to get up now, Guillermo?" He tried to conceal his erection but it was clearly too late.

"M-Master uh..." Guillermo stuttered, backing off of him and accidentally brushing it with his hand. _Accidentally? Hm._

Nandor waved his hand in front of his face and said, "You will not remember the boner part, I caught you with my arms in a very professional manner," quickly scooping up Guillermo in a bridal carry. 

"Master, you caught me. Th-thank you." _Still with the blush. Damn it, Guillermo._

"Yes, yes, be more careful Guillermo, I may not always be able to catch you."

Nandor hesitated for an instant before putting him down.

4.

The Bi-Annual Orgy was being hosted in Queens and Nandor had completely forgotten to bring anything to contribute to the festivities. _Unspeakably rude._ He excused himself and flew back to the house. _And he had just had Guillermo organize his collection of sex toys. No excuse,_ he groaned at himself. It was a long and lonely flight. 

He was looking through his crypt for the largest one and couldn't find it. _Maybe Laszlo had borrowed it again? He really should ask,_ he thought, vaguely irritated. He'd have to settle for the second largest and hope nobody would judge him.

He was on his way back through the hallway when he heard the tiniest pained moan of his name. _That was the most pathetic sound I have ever heard._ _Was Guillermo having another nightmare?_

Wary of getting caught, he hovered above the ground and gingerly peeked through the curtain of Guillermo's closet room. 

Guillermo was the culprit that pilfered the largest dildo, which was going to be an incredibly awkward conversation for later. He had a giant bottle of lube next to his bed and was adding a lot more and there was a spicy daguerreotype of Nandor on the wall and the entire situation hit Nandor like a falling piano. Guillermo was not having a nightmare. That much was obvious.

_...Does he do this every time we all leave for the orgy? Every time he thinks he has the house to himself? I should leave. I really should be going..._

Nandor didn't leave.

The freshly lubed dildo disappeared under Guillermo's bed sheet and he shifted and moaned. _It is important not to rush these things,_ Nandor thought. Guillermo's little hand stroked the daguerreotype and then disappeared under the sheet as well. He rolled onto his back, still looking at the picture. There was an unmistakable slick rhythmic sound and Guillermo muttering, "You're so big, Master…" which did something to Nandor that he did not understand. He couldn't move even if he wanted to. 

Guillermo started arching and breathing harder and Nandor started getting harder, too. _Who wouldn't?_ He wished the sheet wasn't there and that Guillermo's face wasn't facing the wall and then thought, _where the fuck did he find that daguerrotype? How long has he had that? He had better clean the toy when he's done…_

Guillermo started moaning his name, "Nandor, Nandor… You feel so, so good, Master…" _Fuck._ Nandor got chills. Guillermo's whines were getting more frequent, his pace picking up, his mattress creaking… Nandor wanted to hear it. But Guillermo stopped completely, catching his breath. Edging himself. Making it last. _Filthy familiar, full of surprises..._

Guillermo threw his head against his pillow, looking at the ceiling with hooded eyes and parted lips. The sight was like nothing else Nandor had ever seen. Nandor was gripping his own thighs and almost ripped his trousers. _Keep going…_

Guillermo stroked his own hair with a hand. After the brief break, Guillermo said, "Please… please again…" and started back up, quickly reaching the same rhythm as before. He edged himself two or three more times, each time becoming more torturous for Nandor. Guillermo got back up to speed again, his face glistening with sweat, flushed with pleasure, his heart beat loud and fast and pounding in Nandor’s ears. He was moaning, "Oh shit, oh fuck, oh fuck me fuck me fuck me…" his voice getting more and more strained, his body tensing, "Don't stop, please don't stop, don't stop…!" _I would never._

"Can I? Please Master can I cum? Please..?" he begged.

"Yes, yes Guillermo, yes…" 

_Oh shit._ Nandor got caught up in the moment and didn't realize he had said that out loud. Guillermo whirled around in the bed, tangling himself in the sheet, screaming in shock and total embarrassment. _You have nothing to be embarrassed of…_

Nandor stepped into the room. Guillermo couldn't look at him, which, fair. He was beet red and definitely naked under the sheet. He started to stammer an apology but Nandor interrupted him.

"Guillermo, look at me please," he said gently. Guillermo turned to him. There was so much to take in between the sweat on his brow, the exquisite blush, the way he nervously bit his lip… Nandor cupped his face in his hand, stroked his cheek. 

"You never saw me. You will enjoy yourself and clean up afterwards and return my dildo."

Nandor walked to the foyer but froze in place and almost came back when Guillermo started screaming his name. 

5.

Nandor was reading in the fancy room when Guillermo decided to finally make an appearance for the evening. After waking him and dressing him for the night, Guillermo had left, stating something about someone circling a drain? _Why would you do that? Most drains are plainly visible._ He allowed him to leave to take care of whatever was so pressing. 

It had been hours. Guillermo rushed past the foyer and straight into the bathroom. _Weird._ Nandor closed his book and strode after him. The door was open; Guillermo was splashing his face with water. Of course, he couldn't see Nandor's reflection.

When Guillermo turned around and Nandor was right there, he startled. It made Nandor mentally chuckle.

"M-master," Guillermo barely managed. 

"You did not even say hi. But I see something is wrong." 

Guillermo had obviously been crying. His eyes were red and his face still flushed. Guillermo blew his nose with a tissue and blinked tears back from flowing even more.

"I'm sorry, it's been a really rough night," Guillermo's voice was raw. Nandor didn't like seeing him like this. He especially didn't like him disappearing for hours. All of this pointed to something bad, but he wasn't sure what.

"Did somebody hurt you?" Nandor asked. He would kill whoever did it. _Unless they're like, really big. Keep it reasonable._

"No... My grandmother died. She uh, had a heart attack..." Guillermo started tearing up again. He turned away from Nandor, clearly embarrassed to be seen crying. Nandor allowed him his privacy.

Nandor was lenient with Guillermo that week. The chores were still finished, and meals buried, but he restrained himself from chastising Guillermo too harshly when he made mistakes like putting Nandor's shirt on backwards for the night. _Understandable. Losing one's family is hard._

One late night about a week later, Nandor heard Guillermo cussing in the same bathroom. He knocked on the door and said, "What is all the fuss then?" 

Guillermo opened the door to him. He was in a black suit. Nandor had not expected this.

"Sorry, Master. I was getting frustrated... I haven't tied a tie in a long time." The tie was loose around his neck. Guillermo had a video playing on his phone of a man explaining how. He paused it.

Nandor stared a little too long before saying something. He had never seen Guillermo like this. It was... different. Unsettling. Disarming?

"...I can show you," he finally said.

Guillermo's heartbeat went up in that telltale way. Nandor was never completely sure if it was because he was scared, excited, or maybe uncomfortable. Or... Well, regardless, he waited for Guillermo's answer.

"You're going to show me?" "Yes." "That'd--that'd be very helpful. Thank you, Master."

Nandor stepped into the bathroom and closed the door. Guillermo was leaning against the sink. An unbidden thought reminded Nandor that the sink could not handle the weight of two people. The door or the wall could. _Back to the task at hand._ He took the tie in his hands and realized he had completely forgotten how to do this. _Shit._

He started tugging on the tie to even out both sides. _It should logically be even._ He would not let Guillermo know that he had no idea what he was doing. _There's a loopy bit.. and then the pull…?_ Maybe it would come back as he did it? Like riding a velocipede? 

That was not the case. He had been turning and twisting the tie in his hands and making no progress whatsoever. Guillermo looked down at the tangled mess of the tie and then back up at him quizzically. 

Nandor panicked. "So what is the occasion?" 

"...my grandmother's funeral." 

"Could I go with you?" Nandor immediately regretted asking this. _Why did I say fucking that, of all things? Ugh._

Guillermo stammered uncomfortably and avoided eye contact. "Uh... I would love to have you but it's... in the morning, during the day and all." 

"Oh fuck it, forget I asked," Nandor said, dropping the tie on Guillermo's shirt with a flourish of his hand and sweeping out of the bathroom.

Guillermo did.

+1

Old friends of Nadja and Laszlo decided to host a small masquerade ball at a rented venue in New Jersey. Nandor was excited to attend, _who doesn't love a masquerade?_ , but was quite out of practice. He had waited until Laszlo and Nadja went out hunting before moving the furniture in the fancy room in order to discreetly refresh himself. He ordered Guillermo to patch up the hole above the back room, so that was taken care of. And Colin Robinson had a mandatory after hours work event that he was thrilled about too. _Nobody would see him at less than peak performance._

There was a twisty fast Spanish dance he had picked up in the 16th century that always killed with the ladies that he was doing a few steps of when he tripped over himself and knocked the taxidermied bear over with a loud crash. Guillermo came running. 

"What happened? Are you okay?" Guillermo panted. 

_Wow, he had really sprinted._ "Yes yes, I am fine Guillermo, thank you. I am just… practicing for the masquerade."

He helped Nandor to his feet and then readjusted the bear.

"Oh, that sounds so cool. Um, if you need a partner… I could."

"Yes, it is very cool. And," Nandor thought about it. _It would be much less humiliating to bumble with Guillermo compared to Laszlo or Nadja..._

"Yes, yes that would be useful for me," Nandor said. He beckoned Guillermo over with a flutter of his fingers. Instant jump in his heart rate. That never failed to amuse Nandor. 

"Do you have any dancing experience, Guillermo?"

Guillermo laughed. "Does square dancing in high school count?"

"That does not sound sexy."

"It's not at all." 

Guillermo stood in the center of the cleared room, hands at his sides, waiting for instruction. Nandor paced in front of him.

"Okay, maybe we start with a basic waltz. It goes to a three beat tempo. You can count to three?" he held up three fingers.

"Yes Master, I can," Guillermo said, nodding eagerly.

"Excellent. I will lead." 

Nandor showed Guillermo how to place his hands. Guillermo's left hand on his shoulder. Nandor's right hand on his back. Their other hands overlapping but not intertwined. 

"One," Nandor took the first step forward, Guillermo following carefully.

"Two," Nandor swept to the right slightly too fast. Guillermo was a little unsteady.

"Three," Nandor settled his feet and helped Guillermo plant himself. 

"And then you do it backwards," Nandor demonstrated, counting out loud again, pulling and pushing Guillermo along. He picked it up quickly. That was surprising, as he had seemingly no other talent.

"Of course Guillermo, you will have to do it while looking at your partner and not staring at your feet." 

"O-oh. Maybe we should try again?" 

"Let me put on music." Another jump in Guillermo's heart rate. _Nothing to be nervous about. Everybody has to learn how to dance for the first time at some point in their lives. Of course it will be a little embarrassing._

The gramophone came to life and the notes of an old waltz from 150 years ago filled the fancy room. Nandor returned to Guillermo, arranging them to waltz again. 

"You can hear the beat? The 1-2-3?"

"I--I'm not sure? I think so?"

"I will show you again and you will get a sense." 

Nandor counted to the beat again, stepping with Guillermo through the basic movement, Guillermo never taking his eyes off of him. He really was better at this than Nandor would have guessed. Nandor was looking at him too, at his puppy dog eyes looking at him with so much admiration, at the slight blush on his face, the curls of his hair… He had certainly had worse partners. 

"Guillermo, you are doing really well."

"R-really?" he blushed a lot. Nandor cackled in his mind. So easy to fluster. 

"We will go outside of the box now. Hold on tight."

Guillermo clung to him, his arm wrapping around Nandor's shoulders. Because of their height difference, Guillermo's head was practically on his chest. Nandor gripped Guillermo against his body tightly and broke out of the rigid pattern they had been dancing in and began to arc more broadly around the room, and then when Guillermo got used to that, he stepped up into the air, taking Guillermo with him. Guillermo's astonishment was to die for. 

"I can't believe it..." Guillermo said quietly as Nandor stepped steadily higher in the room. They danced above the piano, their feet inches above the surface. 

"What can't you believe, Guillermo?" Nandor purred. It had been so long since Guillermo had such a pure sense of wonder at something Nandor could do. He missed it. 

Guillermo didn't say anything but buried his head in his cravat. _Overcome with wonder, no doubt._

"Guillermo, would you mind counting now? Then I'll know you've got it." 

Guillermo looked back up at him.

"One… two… three…"

Nandor dipped him in midair on the third count. When he reeled Guillermo back in, he was blushing intensely and his heart was beating out of his chest. His eyes were huge and locked on him. Like Nandor was his entire world. He looked… beautiful… 

They were kissing. Their arms wrapped around each other and Nandor kissed Guillermo and Guillermo kissed him. Guillermo’s heart on fire, the sound filling Nandor’s mind. He was so warm and smelled so good and he was careful with his teeth… _Maybe just… a little longer…_

Nandor felt a wave of sadness, thinking of this ending. But it would. It must. It always did. 

He pulled away and said, "Guillermo… we can't… I won't let you remember this..."

Guillermo was devastated. "What? Have you… you're going to erase my memory? Please, please don't Master, please let me have this…" He clutched Nandor and was crying silently. 

"Guillermo, look at me," he commanded.

Guillermo didn't move, his body shaking with sobs. 

"Guillermo!" 

Guillermo looked at him, tears streaming down the strained features of his face. Swallowing and struggling not to lose it. It cut Nandor somewhere deep inside. _There was no other way_.

"Guillermo, we never left the ground," he said morosely with a flourish of his hand.

**Author's Note:**

> These are in roughly chronological order. 
> 
> I saw this formatting from another excellent Nandor/Guillermo fic and maybe it's more common outside of the fandom, but I really liked the idea and gave it my own shot!
> 
> This is also my first time writing from Nandor's point of view. 
> 
> Thank you for reading.


End file.
